Bad Romance
by chysalis
Summary: After Jesse dumped her and the Glee Club showed her only the cold shoulder, Rachel Berry decides that picking up the pieces doesn't have to be done on your knees
1. Chapter 1

Pairing: Rachel/ Jesse´

Disclaimer: I own Glee, its Characters, Great Britan and all the inhabitants. ... exept that I don't

Warning: 1. This is my first Glee Fic. So if it sucks you have been warned!

Slight Finn and Kurt bashing. Maybe Major W. Shue bash since I hate him.

**Chapter 1**

It had hurt. When Finn told her that he didn't want to be her boyfriend, Rachel had felt like a thousand tiny needles pricked her heart. So she cried. Told him off. And then revived herself like a phoenix. In song format. But right now. She didn't really have anything to sing about. She wanted to belch out lyrics about the heartbreaking pains that one felt when love left. But she didn't feel them. She didn't feel that much since Jesse had dumped her.

„Why not let Mercedes sing it, Mr. Shue? I'm not really feeling it today!"

For a moment she expected her teacher to ask for an ambulance. If she, Rachel Berry, gave a solo to somebody else, she was obviously in the cold clutchy hands of the angel of death. Actually everybody was staring at her. Probably were waiting for a fit. She didn't feel like it.

She gave a little nod to Mr. Shue and got up: „I'm going to the rest room." He nodded back, but had stopped caring two seconds after starting with it. The irony, that the one person claiming to be her fan, the one person who was supposed to be neutral showed her his dislike openly. It would have made her laugh. But she didn't feel like it.

She beelined for the doors and left for the parking lot. Finally enjoying the quit of her car she contemplated what to do now. She was probably supposed to get back in, reclaim her solo and Rachel-Berry everyone over. But when the Puckmaster was your only „friend" (and that was only if you used the term „friend" loosely as in: „ No, we never hang out or talk. And I don't think he likes me that much. But we sat next to each other twice… and made out) you got it bad.

Her supposed friend Finn was still playing it up. But this was not the first time he walked all over her. He had his whims. She got used to his mood swings and his habit to take it out on her. And she would forgive him. As she always did. Because in her book friends forgave each other (of course in her book friends didn't pressure you to break up with your boyfriend either but apparently Finn was reading another book on friendship).

And then there was Jesse. He was is normal self. Except for the not-talking-to-her part. And what made it worse – he was probably totally right. She had cheated on him. With her ex boyfriend. While he watched. She had been promiscuous. Musically-speaking. Of course everyone had been on Jesses side. Except for Brittany who still tried to figure out why Sandy tried to murder her and the boys. She had tried to apologize, but even in her ears everything she said sounded lame. Like a sorry excuse for her sorry personality. It wasn't like she didn't know about her faults. But up till now, she was certain that she was love able (if somebody took the time to get to know her) enough. That she could have friends and be popular just by being herself.

She had been wrong.

So Rachel cried a little bit to herself. Held herself. Comforted herself. Because singing wasn't the only talent she had developed over the years.

**Chapter two:**

She needed a minute before opening the door. She wanted to be ready. It was like walking on stage of a daily play. She knew what to do. 'Just go through the motions.'

Rachel Berry had everything that you needed to be a star. Looks, talents, the right working attitude and the perfect show face. Absolutely nothing could betray her emotions when she put up her show face.

The moment Rachel Berry went through the door of her home, she looked radiant. Happy, Energetic. Was full of pride and strive when she told her Daddy how great Glee Club rehearsals went. Even went so far to playfully fist bump when she told her Dad how well received her music video had been and how her friends had been happy for her.

They didn't need to know. They would just worry. Rachel Berry had been born out of love. And as long as her dads lived in their eyes love should be the only things Rachel Berry ever received.

This was supposed to be easy. Hit on the lonely diva girl, get her to trust you (get in her pants if possible) and make sure that Shelby receive every information she might need for destroying „New Directions". If only for the super-dopey title. Who the Mariah-Careys-Glitter had come up with something like this. In hindsight, he should have gone for Mercedes. But Rachel had seemed like a challenge and Jesse St. James loved himself a challenge. And at first it was as he had expected. Rachel was high maintenance. Overly dramatic. And really talented and pretty. Easily seduced. He didn't expect her to be so cute. And fresh. At first he had felt a hefty little heart tuck when she told him she was ready. It had surprised even him but he had been honestly happy. And truly wanted to comfort him when she hid away in the bath room.

Being around Rachel was fun. Especially if she wasn't self-conscious. They just .. clicked. She should have been hyper to be with him. Especially since the only dating experience she seem to have was Finn. And while Finn was a decent singer (who should consider moving in the background because he vocals were sooo strained sometimes) he was also a douchebag. And Jesse knew. Since had been a douche bag to a couple of girls himself. He understood Finn want for freedom and a rock star live but who was he kidding. As if Finn did have the potential. Especially with that hair. Maybe in Jock-paradise.

But that was not the point. The point was that Rachel had proven that a lot of things were more important to her then their relationship. And screwing him over with Puck-alooza had been especially offensive. To expect him being cool about sharing the lime-light with her EX-boyfriend and somebody who offered to torch down the sacred grounds of an auditorium was as laughable the the movie „Honey".

She might as well have asked him to let her date Puck and Finn while being with him.

**Chapter three:**

It still bothered him. Nobody cared. She had been gone for more then 15 minutes and nobody even noticed. Or they did notice and were slightly relieved. After all, they had broke up. So they had to be a Rachel Berry super-tantrum. With singing about her feelings in classical break up songs. At first everybody would roll their eyes but soon they would join in, hold each others hands, look weepy in each other eyes and forget again that this wonderful surrounding had been delivered by Rachel.

That had bugged him, the minute he had walked in New Directions. How everybody got pissy that Rachel would snatch away every solo, while they got none. But everybody expected to get one handed to them. No one was really willing to work for it. He was pretty sure that Mercedes didn't spend her time working on her vocals. Or that Kurt was practising ballet since he could stand straight. And if he looked at the collection of ballet shoes Rachel owned, she was obviously practicing whenever she could. Rain or shine. So if everything else, her dedication made her deserving of the solos. But it was probably easier to bitch about Rachel being an Attention-Diva and demanding so much instead of getting up off their butts and start working on becoming a star.

After Kurt and Quinn finished a rather thin version of „And when the rain begins to fall" he got up: „Guys, I'm leaving. I still have stuff to do. And don't worry Kurt. If I closed my eyes I would have been sure that it was Pia Zadora singing." They were funnily adamant of keeping him around. Since they thought him (rightfully though) to be a spy and all. But that wasn't apparently interesting anymore after he and Rachel were done.

Instead of hearing them abusing another song, Jesse hung around in front of Rachels locker for a bit. It wasn't like he wanted to make sure that she was okay. Since they were way over and stuff. But he liked this place. Totally coincidental. And pointless since Rachel didn't turn up. So he flirtet the information about Rachels whereabouts out of Mrs. Stintson – the school nurse. Who was frighteningly open for it, given that she was around 80 years old, and Jesse was in Science with her grandson Barney. She had gone home. Without her ballet practise.

Rachel Berry had left the building.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: I have bought England. Kidding! **I wanted to thank everybody for the reviews and especially for the constructive criticism. As for now I do have a beta. But being stressed she send me the wrong document back. And since I'm lazy by birth I didn't really check it over. Or put much effort in spelling or grammar while writing. Anyways. I will figure it out. If she has to much to do, maybe I can take someone of you up on the offer to beta.

Please enjoy. I hope the days of written suckitude are over!

For the first time in years Rachel didn't get up when the alarm rang. For the first time in years she could find the spirit to go through her daily routine. She dreaded going to school. But she dreaded even more going to Glee. Over the last couple of weeks it had been harder and harder to forget or ignore all the little side jabs the Glee Kids gave her. To let her know again and again that they didn't need her. Which was wrong. If they wanted to win Regionals, they did need her. But they didn't want her. And that hurt a lot more then not being needed.

Rachel felt like the break up with Jesse had opened a can of worms. And even though she desperately tried to close the can and get the worms back in, she couldn't. They were crawling out and with them every little hurt and rejection she had to face since joining Glee.

So she had cried herself to sleep last night. And now she felt too drained to get up. One missed work-out session wouldn't be the end of the world.

He looked amazing. His hair, his smile. Everything about him was just right. He was laughing about something stupid Kurt had said. Seemed to be radiant. Like everything was okay. For a moment Rachel felt bitter. The thought that he had just moved on like this, hurt her. Didn't he say that she had broken his heart? He was awfully chipper considering that. While she felt more and more broken everyday. But then again, maybe it helped that Santana was throwing herself against him. Judging by his flirty smiles, he definitely wasn't against it. (Then again, this was sexy Santana who never said no. So go figure. All that was missing now was a Wiggles Concert).

And it probably helped too that the hearts of the Glee club members flew to him like he was magnetic. For him everything seemed fine. He was doing well. And she was doing worse then Britney Spears as an actress. Two weeks had passed since the break up. And not once she had laughed since then. And that was something she hated. Rachel Berry had always been a happy person. But right now she felt like this part of her personality had been flushed way by crying one too many times.

Something had after all, broken her stride.

Rachels hand was trembling. This was her third attempt at knocking at Mr. Schues door and again she was about to chicken out. But she knew that it was inevitable. It had to be done. Because going on like this was not an option. So she used a trick that had helped her with a lot of roller coaster rides.

'When you see the abyss close your eyes and hold your breath. Find something to hold onto, even if it is your own skirt.'

She tightly clutched the hem of her skirt, closed her eyes, took a deep breath and knocked at the door.

'Come in!'

Reluctantly Rachel opened the door and broke a smile to Mr. Schue. He didn't need to know all.

'Rachel! What can I do for you?' Mr. Schue asked with a fake smile and an even faker concern. Rachels pondered for a second whether he really ever wondered how he could not make it big. She had a list of reason at the top of her mind. And his crap acting wasn't even in the top ten.

_'Past the point of no return, the final threshold. The bridge has crossed, so stand and watched it burn. We past the point of no return.'_ Nothing to build your resolve like the Phantom of the opera.

'I want to quit Glee club!' Will Schuester reacted just the way Rachel had anticipated it. Mock concern, wonder, shock, horror. Apparently they did need her after all. Mr. Schue took a moment to collect himself. Then he cleared his throat and faced her again.

'Rachel, Regionals are coming up. Why would you quit now?'

Rachel shook her head. He probably wouldn't understand. 'I'm not feeling it right now."

Mr. Schuester glared at her: 'Do you think when you working on Broadway you can just undermine a production, because 'you are not feeling it right now?'. And what about your team members? I thought you wanted to be part of a team? Or was that just for show?'

'My team members will probably have a farewell party. Without me, of course. They also assured me more then once, that they didn't need me.'

Her teacher glanced at her approvingly (like she had finally found her place – all the way in the back). Which was just wrong but very much like him. 'Your team mates are over confident because they won the Sectionals under extreme circumstances. They all have talent. And they like what they do. But you are the best of them Rachel. You know that.'

Rachel watched him as he seemed to muster up some courage. She started to feel kind of like crying.

'We need you Rachel. Please don't do this. Don't do this to your friends.' Rachel felt tears pricking in her eyes. But crying in front of Mr. Schuester would have been like a nightmare come true. So she swallowed them back. Tried to talk evenly even though her eyes were stinging.

'I can't Mr. Schuester. I don't have anything to sing about anymore.' She got up, when she saw that he wanted to argue some more: 'Anyways, you will just be fine. You have Mercedes. And Jesse. They are both great. Nothing to worry about. If you excuse me now, I still have stuff to do.'

With a strangled sob, Rachel fled from his office before Mr. Schuester could say something to hold her back. The adrenaline that had powered her was fading away. At loss for what to do next, she went to the empty auditorium, sat next to the piano and cried.

If this was a joke, Jesse couldn't laugh about it. Rachel had quit Glee. He should be overjoyed. Ecstatic. Without Rachel, her voice and her drill New Directions had absolutely no chance against Vocal Adrenaline. They would hack each other to pieces for solos. And Mr. Schuester was too weak to do anything against it. All he had to do was to go back to Vocal Adrenaline and his mission was completed. The enemy was destroyed. But instead of joy Jesse felt a huge hole in his stomach. Rachel wasn't a quitter. Rachel was a fighter. Who could take it all to reach her goal of stardom.

'But why would she quit Mr. Shue' Artie asked and adjusted his glasses 'Regionals are coming up.' 'Maybe someone knocked some taste into her, and she fell into a deep depression after she reviewed her clothing style up till now.' Kurt quipped before he high-fived Mercedes. Most of the other laughed too. Except for Finn, (who looked dopey-confused as always) and Puck.

Leaning back Puck addressed Mr. Schue: 'But seriously. Why would she quit? She knows that Regionals are coming up. She knows we need her. Why would she just dump us.'

'It is not like we really need her.' Kurt shot back 'Mercedes and I can sing the solo parts. It will be a piece of cake.'

Jesse had to admit that both, Mercedes and Kurt, were talented. But they could not muster up to Rachel who did not only have a lot of talent but also the right training. Regionals was a disaster in the making. And that somehow comforted Jesse. Like they would receive their punishment for treating Rachel like crap. For choosing him over her. Even though she was the one willing to give it all up for them.

And he was the one out to destroy them.

Rachel had not only quit Glee. She didn't come to the ballet classes either. Not to Jazz dance, vocal coaching or acting class. If Jesse hadn't seen her sometimes in the hall ways, he would have thought that she had fallen of the edge of the world. But he saw her now and then. And everyday it felt a little more like he was looking at a stranger. He wanted to talk to her. Maybe even comfort her, but he couldn't. What he had done was cruel already. He had set out to seduce her. He had smiled and kissed her. And then he had played on her like she was a violin. Now that everything was over he knew that he had to let her go. Even trying to get her back would cross the line from mean to down right evil and perverted. She would get over him. Soon Finn would have gotten over his anger (For what ever he was still angry at right now.) and then she would turn back to him. Everything would turn back to normal and everything would be okay.

But until Regionals he had to play his part. He had to smile and go on. Flirt with Santana (As if. The girl wouldn't have been able to tell the difference between Leonard Bernstein and Leonard Cohen if she was beaten up with the music sheets)! Nurture Kurts ego! Be friends with them. They would lose at Regionals. Then everything would be fine. And even though he didn't expect it, he hoped that Rachel would forgive him one day. That she wouldn't look back with complete disgust on their relationship.

At first she had only felt too tired to get up extra early to do her routines. But with her goal gone straining herself like that felt futile. Why demand the very last from yourself when it was for the naught anyways.

After a while doing her hair and make up with her usual perfection felt dreading and useless. So she just applied some Mascara and Lipstick. Figured that putting her hair into a bun would be sufficient. No need to impress anyone. But she can't let herself go completely. She needed a little bit of the old Rachel. If only for her dads. Just the thought of them disappointed made Rachel wince. They had done so much for them. They wanted it all. And she wanted to give them everything. And now, since it felt like she had nothing else to give, at least she wanted keep up the pretense.

Being at school was a lot easier then being at home. And for the first time Rachel was thankful that no one took notice of her. She didn't need an audience while she was falling apart. And nobody noticed.

Mr. Webber her English teacher shot her the stink eye once. Because she got a C in an assignment. Her first C. Up until now, she had always had A. But nowadays she couldn't bring herself to learn. She waited for a moment a feeling of distraught but realized that she could not bring herself to care. But when she was at home, she buried her face into her pillows and wept.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:** DANG! I didn't expect THAT many positive reviews. Thank you all so much. I don't know what to say.

I hope the new chapter does not disappoint. I'm sorry that it takes me a while to set up the dynamics but I want to set the right mood.

As many of you have guessed, is my end game. Hope that is to your liking. Also:

**AUTHORS NOTE 2:** Dear everybody. My beta told me that this was the last chapter she could beta for me. She is too busy studying to become something great. I can understand that so I'm willing to give her a pass this time. Unfortunately that leave me without a beta. I'm somewhat lazy while writing and do not always notice nor care when I make a mistake. So anyone willing to help me out?

ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

A real song, a good song always had a meaning. And only if you could convey that meaning you were truly a good performer. In a competition like Regionals you had to be more then just a singer. You had to catch a feeling and convey it with your voice. The more you were able to tell through the lyrics of a song how you were feeling the better was your chance. Mercedes was a good, maybe even an amazing singer. But she was limited in performing. She did not know how to communicate emotions. She was barely able to copy others conveying them. Kurt was too self-involved. Often times he was singing for himself. If he was sad he would sing to himself that he was sad. But he would smile for everybody else. He did not have the courage to show others how he felt. There was a certain kind of vulnerability that he was willing to achieve. Sometimes that made it tiresome for Jesse to listen to them. Tina did not have the volume that was needed at Regionals. And while Mr. Schue explained to her that she just had to wait a little bit more for a solo (in favor of Mercedes and Kurt) Jesse had felt it for the first time. Glee.

He knew that he had a cruel side to himself. There was so much he needed to take care of that he just could not always care. And sometimes, just sometimes he was spiteful. And the more the people who were supposed to be Rachels friends gloated about their chances of stardom, now that Rachel was finally gone, the more spiteful he felt when something did not work out for them.

Everyday, with every rehearsal he was thankful. Thankful that Glee Club was more about Mr. Schue and the selfishness of their members then about Glee Club. If Will Schuester had for once stopped and listened he would have known that Artie was a lot better in singing and performing then Finn. And probably always would be. And that he really and honestly needed to stop rapping. One more rap of 'The Schue' and Jesse was willing to lobotomize himself.

But then again. Maybe it was all karma. It was like he didn't deserve it.  
_  
'I have to ask you something. And I need you to tell me the truth, because if you don't there will be consequences. Life and Death consequences. Because if I give myself to you, and it turns out that you are only playing me, I might die. Not literally but emotionally. It will be the kind of heart break that girls like me hold for the rest of their lives – like Barbara in 'The way we were'' _

In the end, all that didn't matter. Because after giving Shelby the set list and other machinations, Glee Club made it to forth. And of course. Vocal Adrenaline made it to Nr. 1. Without Rachel the didn't have a chance. And now they wouldn't have a chance to learn better. And in Jesses book, that was something to be gleeful about.

Except for Luck. New Directions had more luck than possible. 'Singing Expression' was caught red-handed in blackmailing and such was banned from Nationals. New Directions was back in the Game. And Jesse, again, was stuck. Shelby and he had heart just hours before he wanted to depart in a big dramatic bang. And he really tried to tell Shelby that his work was done. That he was not longer needed. New Directions didn't have a true chance in Regionals. There was no way they could score in Nationals. But Shelby refuse to let him come back. Said something about knowing too much of learning from mistakes. And so he was stuck. In a club he hated. In a school he hated. Close to a girl he hated. He just couldn't forgive her that she made his heart ache so much.

Right after the disaster – also – known – as – Regionals New Directions approach Rachel. At first they send Finn. Jesse was ready to cut him when he saw the puppy dog eyes he made at Rachel, asking her for one more chance. To come back to Glee. To let them forget about the past. Felt an incredible relief when she just shook Finn of: 'I don't want to.'

Next came Puck. The conversation was a short as it was Puck:  
'Berry, you wanna come back to Glee?

'No.'

'Then tell them to screw themselves. My work is done.' He didn't try to be nice to her. But he also didn't try to manipulate or lie to her. With all his doucheyness. In this regard Noah Puckermann was a better men then Jesse St. James.

He did that a lot nowadays. Watching her. His heart ached when she looked sad. Whenever she looked depressed or alone his own emptiness would roaring lift its head. He knew that he was a bastard. He had chosen her. Because the moment he heard her sing at Sectionals he had known. That she was like him. Great hair. Cocky exterior. But hollow. And the only way to fill that hole was by singing. By achieving the love of as many people as possible.

He had known her heart. And he had wanted to use that knowledge to play her. But then day by day his emptiness had been filled by a warmth. When she looked at him, awed that he would love her. Kissing him. Hugging him. Like warm water that was slowly filling him up from the inside. And as much as he had wanted it. He couldn't be selfish about it. He had to break it up. He had almost been thankful for the music video. I gave him an excuse. And while the break up would hurt her, he was thankful that it gave him the possibility of blaming every betrayal on the remaining Glee Clubbers.

So he was willing to pay the price. It had to be her. And because it could not be her, he was willing to be cold again. To sing, perform and dance, so he could stop feeling like he was starving for a little while. As long as he was not selfish with Rachel Berry. And so he prayed every time he saw her, that she would not approach him. Because he was not sure he could send her away again.

Gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Again and again and again she felt his eyes on her. Burning. And she longed for him. Longed for the feeling that he gave her. The feel of his arm around her. She wanted him so much that it hurt her. Even if he had chosen the others. Even if he had made it clear that he didn't want her anymore. It didn't matter.

Gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Rachel knew that she was close to hit rock bottom. And that nothing she did right now could stop the way down. She felt to drained to fight it. She still tried to maintain her normal routines, but was now a lot more lax about it. Her dads were gone a lot. Maybe they wouldn't even notice. Rachel was pretty certain they wouldn't. Nobody did.

She had now new routines. Sleep as much as you can. She was always tired. So when ever she found a moment she tried to squeeze a little bit of sleep in. Avoided the hallways. And the library. She was tired with all the gossip. Two weeks ago Quinn had born a healthy little girl. Rachel had heard a variety of names until now but figured that it didn't matter anyways. Since Quinn had given the baby into foster care just hours after being born. Now she expected that she should reclimb the throne of High School Queens. The position Rachel had once wanted so much felt now cheesy to her. But if Quinn desired it, who was Rachel to do anything but wish her the best.

She tried to feel happy for Glee when they did place in Regionals after all. But there had been nothing. No happiness. No sadness. No sign of betrayal. He had been as simple as that. In the end, they didn't even need her. Not really. So she refused when Finn and Puck asked her to rejoin. Rachel just couldn't see the point in it. The last thing she wanted was pity. But she was willing to give Finn points for creativity after he told her that she was being selfish. After all she had broken his heart too. And he didn't leave Glee like that. Everybody had given her a lot of time and now she needed to get over Jesse. Rachel wanted to tell him. That she didn't know how. How do you get over your inner peace? She wanted to make him understand, that Jesse had been more than a rebound. To Rachel, Jesse was a warm blanket that protected her. With him at her side she was safe. It didn't matter if she got slushied. Piece of cake if the other Glees said hurtful things. Left her alone. When she felt the warmth of her hand around hers or the weight of his arm pressed down on her shoulders, she knew that everything would be okay.

She wanted to touch him again. Yearned for one more kiss. But when she accidentally had run into him in the hall way he had looked at her with a distant and almost appalled look. As if looking at her made his insides churn. It probably did. He was on the other side now. She couldn't reach him. She was the dark. He was the light. So to force herself not to think about him she slept. It felt more useful then crying.

Ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Karma was indeed a bitch. Karma hated him. But for once, Jesse wasn't sure how to deal with it. He should have ignored her. He should have driven on. Then moment he saw her at the side of the road. But he couldn't. She had obviously car troubles and he knew that she had nobody to call. Her dads were gone out of town and the Glee Kids wouldn't bother to drive out to look for her in the middle of the night. So he stopped and got out of the car. Not that he was savvy with cars himself. But he could offer her a ride. Was half glad, half horrified that she accepted.

She hadn't changed her shampoo. He could detect a soft scent of magnolia in the air as soon as she got in the car. But she had lost some weight. For a moment Jesse wondered what it would feel like to be in bed with her. Would her body still be as soft and compliant as it has been when they were a couple. Would she still make this little moaning noise when he kissed her. Pressed her down on the mattress? Were her lips still as tender? The close proximity made his head dizzy. It was so easy to just reach over and touch her again. Then he cursed himself a bastard and opened the window a bit.


	4. Authors Note

**Authors Note**

Hello y'all. I know I haven't updatet for some time. That has two reasons:

I'm really busy right now. Since life is that thing between work and sleeping I do not have much life time right now. I apologize.

I do not have a beta right now. I cannot show you the mess that I usually make (...again)

I hope you are not too dissappointed. I will try to update as soon as possible

chysalis


	5. Chapter 4

**Authors Note:** Finally. I did it. I managed to write the next chapter. Which wouldn't have helped much if I hadn't found new beta in Kat! Girl, you rock harder then Limp Bizkit. Thank you so much.

As usually I own Glee as much as I do own 30 Rockefella Plaza. Not at all.

T~~~~~~~~

There is usually this awkward moment when you drive somebody home. That single moment when you have to decide what the best way of saying "good night" is. Just nod? Shake hands? Kiss? It's always hard to decide the most appropriate way of parting.

Especially if the person you're dropping off is your ex-girlfriend that you hadn't kissed in 47 days and 7 hours. Not that he was counting. So when he finally pulled up at her house, he was ready. Had some polite words in his head; had figured out when to nod and when to smile. How long would she need until she got out of his car? One minute? Two max. Rachel was a bit clingy, but not dumb.

But she beat him to it. The moment he stopped, she muttered something that sounded like a thanks and jumped out of the car. He watched her as she practically flew up her porch steps and into the house. Felt slightly mad. There was no reason for her to flee from him. He had been polite to her. If he talked to her. But there was no use in standing in front of her house like some degenerated stalker. So he turned on the engine. And turned it off again when he saw the she left her book bag. Of course. He had often noticed that people would get clichés as they deserved clichés. What you made of them was important. In every rom-com ever written he would take the book bag, bring it to her, they would fight and then make out. Just to have a heap of emotions the next day. But this wasn't a rom-com- This was a life-time biopic about Jesse St. James and his stoney way to fame and glory. High school was just a chapter. Not the main part. He decided to leave it on her front porch. She would find it in the morning and wonder about it; maybe even smile a little to herself. But the minute Jesse had made up his mind, the passenger door flung open.

As soon as she had noticed her missing book bag she had contemplated for exactly thirty seconds, before deciding to just let it go. She didn't need it immediately, and she didn't feel like facing Jesse again. She felt like sleeping for at least 16 hours straight. Maybe then she would feel enough strength to face him again. But then she decided against it. Why prolong the pain? She would just get it over with, like ripping off a bandaid, because for some reason he was still sitting in front of her house.

A tiny part somewhere deep inside actually hoped that he would wait for her to come back and talk. That this meant that there was still something Jesse and Rachel could fix. While on the way to the car, she chided herself for that notion. There was nothing to fix. There was no reason why Jesse St. James would want to go back to promiscuous high maintenance Rachel Berry, who wouldn't even put out. Not if he could date Santana or Britney...or both. Or even the rest of the female population of McKinley High. Before, she had been the Berry Fairy (thanks Puck) but now she wasn't even that. So, composing herself to the best of her ability, she ripped open the passenger door to grab her bag and go back inside again. Only too find that it wasn't on the floor anymore. Jesse held it in his hand and was currently staring at it so intently, as if he could will it to be somewhere, anywhere, else.

Rachel forced her hand to reach out and grab the bag. But when she tugged it into her general direction, Jesse held onto it tightly. Tugging again, Rachel felt a flood of heat crawling down her spine. That…jerk! All Rachel Berry wanted was to get back to her room to wrap herself into her blanket, and wait until she fell asleep. She did not want to play tug-o-war with Jesse St. James over a book bag.

"Let go." The words felt choked and sounded flat, as if she was gritting her teeth while saying them. And infuriately Jesse smiled his lopsided smile, the same one she had sighed over not too long ago.

"Say pretty please." JERK! She felt like slapping that damn grin of his face. It was the first time in 47 days that Rachel felt something different then a big hole in her insides. The inside of her burned with righteous anger towards an idiot who didn't want to give her book bag back. At least Rachel was pretty sure that this was the reason she felt so angry.

"Give it back!" she angrily demanded.

Somehow he couldn't. Jesse didn't know what got into him but the second Rachel put her head back into his car he wanted her to stay just one more second. Magnolialize his car some more. So he held onto the bag and taunted her a bit.

"Give it back!"

Rachel lips had always tasted like berries. How deliciously fitting; it was her lipstick, obviously, but still, it suited her. Seeing that she pressed them together in their little tugging fight, he felt like running his tongue all over them to ease them up. The thought wasn't too shocking, after all, Rachel was beautiful and Jesse a young man in his prime. But it was still so idioticly inappropriate that he finally let his grip loosen a bit. One hearty tug and the bag was gone from his grip. He didn't see it, but by the yelp told him that she had stumbled backwards and probably fell. So, a little concerned, he got out of his car to help her up. He didn't want to feel like a _total_ ass for the rest of the night.

"Come on. Let me give you a hand." Jesse reached out to Rachel, only to feel her stiffen and then yank her arm out of his grip.

"Leave it. Just…Leave me alone. You…you…you…douchenozzle!" That actually stunned him into silence. Douchenozzle? That wasn't even a word. Let alone an adequate insult.

"I just wanted to help you. And that with your bag was just a joke. Where's your humor?" he tried to smile at her, wanting to ease up the situation. Make light of it.

"I don't know. I think I swamped it down the toilet; along with my interest in anything Glee-related."

And just like that his insides churned again. Just like that. And however cliché ridded this scene of his own personal lifetime movie is…it doesn't matter. All that mattered was that he wanted to give her something to hold onto. If only for a minute.

And so he kissed her. For the first time in 47 days 7 hours and 25 minutes.

And somehow, it felt like forever since they had been here, connected this way.

Rachel liked the classic happy ending of the story. The one were the male hero finally pulled through, kissed his leading lady and the credits rolled. She didn't appreciate when the director felt the need to show how dopey-happy the couple now was. If you couldn't convey that before the climax you failed.

But life wasn't a scripted show. And even if you expected a certain outcome, you could never know for sure. If this was the TV show Rachel would for sure star in one day, she would know what came next. Jesse would declare his everlasting love for her, and they would work together, through good times and bad times, for the rest of their lives. He would have kissed her one more time. And she would appreciated this notion, chaste and shy, still a little unbelieving that this man was hers again. He would stand tall next to her and she would be able to finally bloom again in his gaze. In her own TV show, she would find herself pressed against his car with his hand looming under her shirt. Or that her hands would loom under his. But it didn't happen in her reality.

Maybe in the movie that they would make about her, after she wrote her autobiography; 'based on a true story' with some embellishments perhaps, movies tended to change the story line anyway.

The next day was kind of a blur. Instead of solving math problems, Jesse was doodling all kinds of forms into his book pages. When Santana sang "Fever" in Glee while throwing him suggestive glances, he thought about the throaty moan Rachel made when he kissed her neck. Or how he had felt like yanking her back after he finally managed to let her go.

Glancing at the clock, he sighed. It's now been 12 hours and 45 minutes since he last kissed Rachel Berry.

Not that he was counting.


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** If I would own Jesse St. James, do you think I had time to write fanfiction? Seriously?

**Authors Note:** Hello everybody. I'm back. Here is a new chapter of "Bad Romance". But before you start I would like to give thanks and a finger point to my beta. She is amazing and helped A LOT with this. While I was okay with the chapter when I send it to her, I'm now really happy with it. I hope so are you.

~chysalis~

Right now, Jesse St. James was supposed to be at either the music store to pick up a new few life style suggestions. Or he should be training his vocal cords. It was also never wrong to watch MTV to scan the current music videos for new dance moves. Hell, for all it was worth, he should be listening to Puck talking about Super Mario _(*nerd*)_. Whatever it was, he was NOT supposed to be in his car right now. Especially with Rachel. And double points for kissing her while having his hand under her shirt. Again.

They were not a couple by any means. While in school Rachel didn't even recognize him. She was always acting like this now. Like the existence of everyone else in the school didn't matter anymore. Since leaving Glee it was like she had lost the only "friends" she's ever had (okay. Maybe "friends" was too strong of a word). She roamed the halls of the school like a ghost. And the school seemed to have come to a halt when her plucky spirit and her drama didn't enrage it anymore.

He missed her. Even now that she was wringing underneath him, responding to his touch so willingly he was missing her. And he hated himself so much for wanting her like that. If it had been any other girl, he would have screwed her here and now, on the front seat of his car somewhere in the middle of corn and dirt. He had done that before. But he had robbed Rachel of so much already. He didn't want to rob her of this too.

Rachel didn't know why she had gotten into Jesses car in the first place. And why she did it now over and over again. She didn't want to be the kind of doormat that allowed her ex-boyfriend to make out with her. Even though he had broken her heart, and was moving on just fine. With other girls. But she couldn't help herself. When he had moved past her after school, his hand brushing her lower back, she had followed him like a puppy after his master. And, like an idiot, gotten into his car. And instead of yelling at him for being such a presumptuous jerk…she was now making out with him.

She just couldn't help herself.

So instead of smacking the goodwill out of him she reached for his pants.

"Stop" Jesse rasped in her ear and put his hand over hers. "We need to stop now."

"Why?" Rachel could see _(and feel)_ that Jesse was into this as much as she was. "What's wrong?" She watched Jesse close his eyes for a second as she wiggled a bit underneath him. "We should…" he groaned as she wiggled closer "Could you stop that? We shouldn't be doing this. Especially not like this. This is as wrong as casting Jessica Simpson in … just about anything." Jesse entangled himself from Rachel, who suddenly felt lonely again. He sighed, "I can't do this Rachel."

Embarrassment swept over Rachel like hot water. She was so _stupid_. What had she been _thinking_? He didn't want her, not even this way. Fighting for her pride, Rachel pulled herself up, turned around and practically fell through the door when she opened it. Without much thinking she grabbed her bag and started walking in the general direction where the school must be located.

"Rachel! Stop it Rachel. I didn't mean it like that. Stop." Rachel felt Jesse grab her arm and she yanked it back. "Get lost. I don't need this." She didn't need him to reject her again. Really didn't.

"Look Rachel, I'm sorry okay. I didn't want to upset you. Baby, please talk to me." He whispered softly.

Jesse realized that he sounded kind of needy at the moment. But Rachel was marching on into the darkness where god knows who might be waiting to kill and/or mutilate her with a giant chain saw (ok, he needed to stop watching day time television). Every time he reached for her arm she pulled it back like she couldn't stand being touched by him.

"Leave me alone Jesse." Finally she spun around facing him. "I do get that you do not really want me, Jesse St. James. But there is no need for you to humiliate me too. So if you had your fun I would suggest you go and… I don't know… seduce some other poor chick in a music store. You could sing 'Saving all my love for you' this time. Whatever you do, just leave me alone."

"At least let me give you a ride home." he was almost pleading with her now. But she shook her head. "No thank you. There is no need, I'll be fine."

Turning around again she walked off. Sighing, Jesse went back to his car. The least he could do was following her.

Just to make sure there was no giant chainsaws in her imminent future.

The next couple of days stretched on like overly chewed gum. Now and then he could spot Rachel in the hallway, but she completely ignored him. Which felt unfair to Jesse. After all he had ended them for HER sake. He didn't have much virtue to lose.

She was treating him like an enemy again.

So he tried to find solace in Glee Club. Even he had to admit that they were getting better… bit by bit. But it still wasn't the same. They still didn't have the same drive. So Jesse knew that it was only a question of time until they would try to get Rachel to come back to Glee. And he felt torn about it, he wanted her back. It was like, if she just came back, everything would return to normal. She just needed to come back to Glee. On the other hand, they still didn't appreciate her the way they should. They cared for her talent, not for herself. Clearly evidenced by the way they ignored her now, and even before her downward spiral. And Jesse knew that Rachel needed to be loved. It was like she couldn't love herself if there wasn't someone else who proved her that she was worth being loved. He had felt that in the car. Every motion, every noise she made screamed for him to love her. That was why he had kissed her. 2 days 8 hours and 35 minutes ago.

Not that he was counting.

Rachel stared at her sandwich, trying to muster up some kind of appetite. But she only felt disgusted by it, with its perfectly proportioned size and its perfect nutritional value. The perfect lunch she used to enjoy. Perfect, something she didn't know how to be. She couldn't be perfectly Rachel anymore.

So she instead of eating it, she threw it in the bin and kept sipping her coffee instead. She wasn't really hungry most of the time anyway. She did force herself to eat whenever her dads cooked, but the food didn't taste like anything anymore. Not really. The only distinct taste she could remember was Jesse's. Which was the last taste she wanted to remember. Go figure.

She blamed that everlasting taste for feeling mean and crabby all the time. And for the longing whenever she saw him. Of course she wasn't in _love_ with him anymore. She knew better than that, (she did!) but she still longed for him. The fact that they were having regular make out session lately didn't make it better. She considered dating someone else, but then she couldn't come up with anyone date worthy. But she knew that she needed to do something, anything, to let Jesse to know that she was over him. She needed the kids from Glee to know that she was no pushover anymore. She needed to let Will Shuester know that he had failed her more than once. At this particular moment Rachel knew she was desperate enough to get out of this situation to do a lot of crazy things. Including going back to Glee. Because she needed them to know.

Jesse blinked. He had seen her the moment she walked into Glee, the girl who looked like Rachel but wasn't Rachel. At least not the Rachel he had expected. She wore jeans, a dark green hoodie, and her hair was pulled back into a pony tail. Her face, usually open like a book, didn't betray any emotions. She stared into a book while waiting for the club to start and didn't seem to notice the strange glances around her.

"Hello everybody. As you can see, Finn managed to get Rachel back to Glee. (Jesse felt like sputtering his water all over the floor) I would like to say that we are very happy to have you back Rachel. Now there is nothing that can stop us from winning Nationals." Will smiled widely, clearly excited with a slightly smug expression.

'Except your crabby teaching skills, Kurt's egocentric behavior and Finn's dancing of course.' Jesse thought to himself. 'Finn managed to get Rachel back in Glee.' Of course, Finn: Her first love. He should have known how easily her affections could be placed onto another person. After all, he easily stole the affection Rachel had held for Finn after he had broken up with her. Still, Jesse felt like choking Finn to death with Kurt's scarf.

"I don't know Mr. Shue. Rachel has been out of the loop for some time now." Kurt announced "We don't know if she still has it going. But judging from her appearance she has been developing backwards." He smirked, self satisfied. "But no worries; Jesse, Mercedes and I got it."

Jesse watched closely for Rachel's reaction. Not too long ago, her face would have pulled a little, showed hurt and discomfort at Kurt words. And then she would put on her show face so nobody would know how much she was hurt by it. But today she only raised her left eye brow slightly and regarding Kurt with something like disdain; as if considering his words hurtful wasn't worth her time.

"Well maybe Rachel wouldn't mind showing us something." Mr. Shuester smiled again, waving Rachel forward.

Rachel just nodded, got up and placed herself in front of the group. And there Jesse could see it, written on her face, in her stance. It was defiance. Actual _conscious_ defiance. Rachel Berry wanted to be taunted, to be picked on. Because Rachel Berry was back to kick some Glee-Ass. Defiance suited her, gave her an edge.

Jesse found he rather liked it.


	7. Chapter 6

**Authors Note:** Here it is: The next chapter. It is kind of shortish but I think that's fine. Again, many thanks to my beta. You rock!

**Disclaimer:** if I promise not to own Glee, may I have Joseph Gordon-Levitt? He is just sooo delicious! And no! I would not share him.

_[…]"Super couple a.k.a. Power couple: Super couples are defined as popular or financially wealthy, nearly perfect pairings that are widely admired in an intense or obsessive fashion and influence society's expectations of what a great love story or relationship should be; they may or may not be romantic or high-profile, but are often culturally significant. Their existence takes form in television, celebrity, high schools and upscale environments, comic books, literature, musicals, as well as in various other incarnations."[…]_

"Beyonce and Jay-Z"

"Cher and Sonny"

"That's Sonny and Cher you doofus!"

"Ike and Tina Turner"

"He beat her up!" someone interjected

"Doesn't matter as long as they were working together, they were a power couple!"

"Exactly!" Will Shuester's eyes were literally sparkling."And as such they took the hearts of the audiences by force. So your assignment until Nationals" He scribbled some words on the blackboard messily. "POWER COUPLES! So, I want you to find a partner, then you will find a song that significantly describes your relationship and… Power! Couple! Away!"

Of course. There it was. The extra notch drama that proved Will Shuester a Glee Club Alumni. Rachel scoffed inwardly. And he had the guts to call her a drama queen. Whenever it suited him of course

"Unfortunately we have one boy too much right now. But I'm sure…"

"Don't worry about it Mr. Shue. I step back." Kurt announced. "I'm not a 'couple' performer anyways." Mr. Shue didn't even bother to correct him. Always the easy way out. Less drama to deal with.

"Let's do it like last time when we chose for Ballads. Names in the hat; the boys get to draw their lucky lady."

Inwardly Rachel was hoping, just a _tiny_ bit, for Artie. They didn't have a strained or uncomfortable history together, and he was nice enough. Or maybe Matt and Mike, who were not known for holding grudges, they were both mostly even tempered.

She got Jesse of course.

Rachel figured that this was her punishment for being such a pushy diva before. There was not a single doubt in Rachel's mind that she and Jesse would be _the_ perfect power couple of Glee if they put their heart into it. But Rachel had put out her heart in front of Jesse before, only to have it crushed over and over and over again. She didn't feel like doing it anymore, she didn't know if she could take it.

And she was pretty sure that she wasn't alone in that feeling. Ever since the night in the field, Jesse had been avoiding her. He was sitting as far away as possible when they had Glee rehearsal, and she never spotted him in the hallway anymore. It had been almost a month now, and yet she still wanted him. Every sense of hers demanded for him. At night she sometimes dreamed of him. Sweaty and delicious dreams without ever being able to pinpoint what exactly had happened. Having something to hold onto again made her resolve weaker sometimes; working with him would prove to be dangerous.

It was the first time that Jesse was walking up to the house of a girl, praying her parents to be THERE. And demand that they left the door open while they practiced. Anything that would prevent him at having a chance to make love to…make out with **do anything but practice with** Rachel Berry. So when he knocked at the door, he sent one last plea to the big guy upstairs and forced his casual face on.

When Rachel opened her front door, her hair was mussed and she was wearing a tank top and shorts, giving her a mean advantage by showing her curves.

Obviously someone upstairs didn't like him very much.

"Jesse." She said nonchalantly.

"Hey Rachel," He tried to keep his voice impersonal. He didn't want her to see know that his hands had started to sweat with inappropriate anticipation. So when she stepped aside to let him inside he gave her a half smirk. "You look good."

He felt his stomach clench as she shut the door behind him, and the rest of the world out. "You've been avoiding me." Jesse had to give kudos to Rachel. She cut right to the chase.

"Where are your dads?" He let his gaze wander around the house

"In San Diego; second Honeymoon. Why did you avoid me? Because of what happened last time?" she was direct, as always.

Jesse tried to concentrate on the discussion. Not on the throwaway information that she was alone, again, and that she probably would be for at least the night. He desperately tried to smother his thoughts of the two of them, writhing with passion

"I thought you needed time, after what happened between us." His voice was nonchalant. Did betray the faint hope that she wouldn't ask him what…

"What did happen, Jesse? I know that I can be rather self involved, but I'm not an idiot. I went over it in my mind several times. One minute you were groping me in all the right places, and then you were pulling back, telling me that 'you couldn't do this'."

"And then you got angry with me for not putting out. So I guess we are even." He quipped, bringing up their failed relationship. But what was supposed to be a joke to lift the air came out like a snide remark.

She smiled at him coyly: "So you were afraid for your virtue after all." She was toying with him. He didn't know for what reason, but she was toying with him. He watched her coming closer, could smell her magnolia-scent when she leaned into him. Closed his eyes and started to think about things that were unsexy. Finn and Puck making out. Mrs. Sylvesters jump suit. Kurt hitting on him. Finn and Rachel making out. The last one did the trick. The very sensual knot that had been building inside of him burst up into flames. Jesse knew that he didn't deserve Rachel. But neither did that douche….nozzle Finn. He had treated her as bad as he had. But anger was helpful. It helped with the whole focusing thing.

"Sorry" Rachel breathed in his ear. Jesse felt goose bumps on his neck but swallowed them away.

"What kind of game is this Rachel?"

"No game Jesse. I'm being honest. I'm sorry. And now," she clapped her hands and moved away from him "Lets practice!"

This time it was her who left _him_ standing alone.


End file.
